The 11th Wonder Of The World

So I have always heard people say the 9th Wonder of The World or even the 10th Wonder of The World. So that is why I used the 11th Wonder of The World for this post. Now I have seen alot of different foods, and have been willing to try just about anything as long as it doesn't stink. Correction, there is only one thing that stinks that I will eat...CHITLINS or as I read at many HBCU Homecomings,"Chitterlings". But that is it because where some people feel collard greens stink I don't believe that to be true. To me they smell like vegetables being steamed. Still, this post is not about collard greens, chitterlings, or stinky foods, but about what may have been the greatest thing created since strawberry soda. I must set the scene. I won't say that I am a huge Norfolk Tides fan but I do enjoy going to the games. Especially when they play the Durham Bulls, the Charlotte Knights, or the Richmond Braves. So 2 weeks ago my wife and I decided to go see the Tides take on the Charlotte Knights. We usually get our tickets when we get there. We usually sit on the 3rd base line side of the field, and we usually get there 10 or 15 minutes before the start of the game. Well this time we got our tickets online. Got seats on the 1st base line side of the field, and we were there a whole hour early. So we actually had to get our tickets from a different side of the stadium. After we got our tickets we decided to see if the was a 1st base side entrance like there is on the 3rd base side. As we are making our way around there is a gentleman that asks if we had our tickets. When we said yes we do he politely pulled out his scanner, checked the tickets, and allowed us in through where the players entered. WOW! Is what I think to myself, this is going to be a good night. Please no Black Eye Peas singing. So we go into the stadium and we decide that since we have some time we will walk to the 3rd base side of the park and back to our side since we have never really seen past the souvenir shop from the 3rd base side. We did that and because the ballpark isn't but so big it took us no time to do it. Well as we are making our way back to our side we saw a stand that was called Twisted Kings and from the signs all around it there specialty was funnel cakes. I am a huge funnel cake fan and if you knew me you would have no question that I went there and had a funnel cake, but I didn't. It was what I saw on the sign inside the stand that intrigued me. So much that the funnel cake was an after thought. Just imagine your favorite food. C'mon...close your eyes and just imagine on a plate your favorite food is right in front of you. Open your eyes, the feeling you have right now, hold that. Now imagine someone telling you, "Hey don't eat that. Try this thing that you've never had before but you've heard about." You wouldn't. You would reach for your favorite. But on that night of July 2nd 2010 I could not do it. I had to have it. I had seen it on the food network. I had seen it on the Learning Channel. I had heard it from another show where it was mentioned as one of the worlds best carnival foods, and there it was right there for me to taste. For me to finally share in the experience I could only envision. We have a term called W.M.D. which stands for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Ladies and gentlemen I must share my experience with a WMH a Weapon of Mass Happiness. They call it, "THE FRIED TWINKIE". That's right you read it clearly. THE FRIED TWINKIE!!! The fried twinkie was only something I had read about or seen on television. After I placed my order and the guy began walking towards me with it, I heard Phil Collins singing "I can feel it...comin in the air tonight. Oooh Lord. And I've been waiting for this moment...for all my life. Oh Looord" It has the appearance of a corndog, but there was no dog inside and I knew it. What will it taste like? Is it going to be confusing when I bite into it? Will I be mad that I wasted my money to buy it? So I couldn't even wait until I got back to my seat I had to know the answers right then and there. So I took my bite. At this moment I had no idea that I was at a baseball game. I was now running through a field of what I now know as raw twinkies towards the arms of my new true love the FRIED twinkie. With her round head, her well tanned complexion and her sugar coated body. In the background I heard, "Toniiiiiiight I ded-icate my loooooove for youuuuu. Toniiiiight I cel-ebrate my loooooove for youuuu. No one will ever find us. We can leave this world behind us." I actually felt bad to be having an affair with a fried twinkie in front of my wife. But not even she could come between me and my fried twinkie. It was as if I didn't even die. God just reached down and pulled through purgatory and straight into heaven. It was like who gives a damn what you would do for a Klondike Bar. I don't care what you felt when you bit into that stupid peppermint patty. Oh and mom's apple pie, GAG! That's right ladies and gentlemen the key to world peace is the fried Twinkies. Instead of Will Smith sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his son in "The Pursuit of Happiness" he should have stolen a fried Twinkies and he would have thought that bathroom was a condo. Fried Twinkies are the @$#%!!!! You know what I said. So the next time you see chaos, a fight, or even a simple disagreement...reach for a fried Twinkies. It will make the WORLD a better place. Please keep in mind, results differ with raw Twinkies. After discussing this with a good friend we both came to the conclusion that if some one offers you a Twinkies that you inform them that you don't eat raw food. So for my tweeple and my friends if you are able to stop by a Norfolk Tide game check out Twisted King. If you can't get to Norfolk check your local area for some vendor, store or shop that offers fried Twinkies. We can heal the world, by getting out at least one fried Twinkies at a time. Now you see why this post couldn't wait another day to be posted. It's vital to our world. Good day peoples. Peace!